Podcast 1: Starting With Boundaries

We are just coming out of the Christmas fog and we're putting away the Chocolate, charcuterie, and Christmas trees for a little while.

But as we're in the season of new beginnings, I thought now would be a good time as any, to finally launch the podcast. It's been on my vision board to-do lists and notebooks for over two years now.

I've finally decided to commit myself to record and posting the hosted by Holly podcast. It's a division of the brokeblonde where we or I will sit and chat about the things on my heart and how we can walk through life together. I believe we've all been uniquely designed with a mission only each of us can fulfill.

Everyone belongs to have a seat at the table to pull up a chair, grab a seat and your favorite drink, and let's have a chat. This is not your normal podcast. Yes, They’ll be great conversations as we go throughout the seasons. But what makes this special? As I said, in the intro, each guest has something to bring to the table.

And I’m, hoping their words impact you. Hopefully their recipes will too. As in kickstarting, this show solo, I too am bringing something to the table, something simple to begin with, but it's my morning coffee with aura inner beauty college and my favorite pan. Be sure to check out the show notes for full details and this cam code, and be sure to take the broke blonde, the social blonde and hosted by Holly.

Let's jump in. Shall we?

Do you have the word of the year? I often was not one for using words as guideposts for how my year was going to pan out. However, in 2020, the word castle came to me after hearing for your writing's castle. On repeat while I was working. Retail in Christmas of 2019, their lyrics, a, you kept me small is what you wanted.

I hate that you think I'm weak because I don't want to let you know I'm going to build castles from the rebel of your love. February, 2020, I ended an engagement and this became my Anthem for the year. Whenever I felt small at the end of 2020, I felt the nudge of the word front row to be my word for 2021.

I carry this with me. I became plugged into my church. I was introduced to the incredible group of women throughout various small groups and went from back row seats to public speaking within the year

as we roll into 2022, I feel as if the words are tumbling out, all of which I'll unpack with you as we go throughout the year, but I always love a good spoiler. So here they are imagination refine miracles. But before I start focusing on these words, there are four words in particular. I want to navigate early on.

No busy. Sorry, love let's begin by removing the words today. I want to start with busy. I've used it far too often as an excuse or a simple way of describing my calendar. But in reality, while my days are full and I have things to do, they're there by choice. I found midway through the year I began getting excluded from events or occasions because people simply assumed I was busy.

I had the privilege of having a candid conversation with one of my friends and I said, there's one thing I want to make clear relationships in my life are. I've changed jobs. I've made choices to allow me to have the flexibility, to allow things that are important to me to hold the primary spots. And I don't want people to think that being busy puts them in second place, which leads me to today's topic boundaries.

I love making lists goals, resolutions don't get me wrong. But in order to be successful in any of these arenas, it takes sacrifice. And within that comes boundaries. We often see the word boundary as negative or restrictive, but boundaries are not walls. They are offenses. Boundaries do not block your blessings.

Bitterness can, but boundaries and bareness don't go together. Over the past 24 months, I can see a shift in the reframing of the word boundary. As most of us have had to work from home and that to learn how to navigate the work from home life and the personal life. I make choices over what takes priority.

There are still times we like guilt creep in and we talk ourselves into doing things we don't really want to because we use the reasoning. I really should because fill in the. It's socially required. I don't want to miss out. I haven't seen them in a while. What will others think? The list goes on? My goal for 2020 is to remove the word busy and be clear about my messaging.

I do not have the time right now. I have another commitment. It's just not a priority. The tough thing is when someone. When you say to someone, something isn't a priority, people tend to get offended. When you say something isn't a priority they often take as they are not a priority.

And their expectations of you have fallen short, having time right now doesn't mean that your calendar is full and there's not a single ounce of space for you. It could just mean that your time is protected.

And you don't have the time to put their request ahead of your own boundaries is a key component. The people who take offense to your boundaries are not your people I can share from experience over time. It's much easier to set boundaries early on, rather than you overexerting yourself to prove something. And build up those expectations only to have them come crashing down later on or lead to resentment expectations, ruin relationships, whether it's your expectation or theirs, if you've been invited to something as simple yes or no is much better than it.

Maybe. So I want to ask you, what are your fences surrounding this time? Last year, I read the book I do boundaries by Havilah Cunnington. I want to share with you a few of my takeaways, the battle between who I need to be and who I am trying to keep everyone happy is going to end up making no one happy.

I'm sure you've heard this said this a million times before, but it's best to be true to yourself and your calling and those who you need will be there. Remember this version of you was only here for us. We do not know how long each season will be. Sometimes it'd be nice if we could get a little bit of a heads up, but this is why it makes it all the more important to enjoy it to the best of our abilities while we're in it, taking responsibility for others, doesn't work.

I've heard this said many different ways in her book. She says being nice out of fear. Wasn't working and I've heard it before on a Rachel Hollis podcast. And it says, do not let people in the cheap seats have an expensive. Proverbs 25, 28 says like a city whose walls are broken down as a man who lacks self-control.

Another takeaway I want to share is envisioning your life as property. When you see the property lines, you know exactly what is yours to take care of and you make sure it's well maintained. If you start seeing your life this way, you'll stop trying to fix someone else's porch, light, or broken deck, and you'll want to focus on your own.

I want to leave you with one last note from the book, and then you can pick it up yourself. It's a quick 14 day read. And if you did, how I did a group of us spent 12 weeks discussing each chapter. It goes further into discussing different relationships and how we can navigate those in a healthy manner.

But I think this is where I'll leave it for today. Dr. Townsend and Cloud said it best. Any confusion of responsibility and ownership in our lives is a problem of boundaries. See you next week and remember you were divinely created.